Showing posts with label The deadites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The deadites. Show all posts

Monday, July 13, 2015

Alive(ish)


Ground zero: were the Silio used to be on Golding's pig farm 3:22AM



I couldn't hear.
I couldn't see.
The dust and debris were not only blinding me, but making it impossible to breathe. The impact had thrown me against the wall.
The fall in the field.
The battle with the fake Round Trip Jones.
The explosion.
I wasn't getting up anytime soon. Every inch of me hurt. I felt old 20 minutes ago, and now I felt ancient. I felt like I was on the wrong side of dead. But for better or for worse I was alive.
I even managed to grab the thing by the ankles and with future strength worthy of a summer blockbuster, I tossed it out of the hole into the other end of the silo.
Someone grabbed my knee and then someone grabbed my shoulder. Standard protocol when senses are impaired is to establish physical contact.
2 hands + my lump body = we were all alive.
The good news was we weren't going to be ripped apart to pieces or crushed under debris.
The bad news was the bad guy was still on the loose and we had no idea where the real Round Trip Jones was or if he was even alive.
After what seemed like forever but not nearly enough time, we all struggled back to our feet. A few minutes more we were struggling to climb out of the trap door in what used to be the silo.
The explosion had blown the the roof and the walls completely to pieces. The construct we had previously been in was gone - as if it had never existed. The area a few yards outside of where the silo was looked more like a meteor impact than a pig farm.
This answered the question we were all thinking but nobody had said.
"How the fuck had we survived that?"
I wasn’t looking to get lucky, but not only did I toss the exploding clone outside of the trap door but outside of the silo entirely.
"Good shot," Tiny coughed.
"Fuck yeah!" barked Ethan, which somehow actually did sound like “thank you.”
We walked through the blast zone, into the tall grass, and almost like we planned it, we all collapsed.
The dust had settled so I could see the stars. I thought I could hear sirens in the distance. I also heard something that sounded like a whine and some other explosions but my ears and head were ringing too much to decipher what that could possibly mean.

 We all laid there. Discouraged, disappointed. It hurt to breathe as if for the first time in my life, a mile away from where I live, I was going to stay forever.

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Thursday, July 9, 2015

Round trip Jones Throw Down

Inside the Silio on Golding's pig farm 3:12AM

 With a roar, Ethan grabbed the spear with two hands and lunged forward, pushing RTJ across the length of the rectangular metal box they ended up in when the trapdoor opened. The masked wrestler started to push back to drive the spear deeper into the angry slashers chest, but like lightning, Tiny was in the hole and cut the spear clean in half. Jones swung the end he still had like a bat, but Tiny parried it easily with the flat part of the sword, then drove his mask into the bridge of what we thought was our friend’s nose. I instantly keyed on the Swordsmen's body language; if this was Round Trip Jones then there wasn't much any of us or our conventional weapons could do to hurt him. If this was a clone? Well, in that case it was no holds barred anyway. Instinctually I went for Scourge, but shooting into combat is never great idea, and with the way my body's been it was a terrible idea, but I had just the thing for a situation like this! I went to my jacket pulled out a nice round,black, shiny eight ball I've been saving for just the right moment. I reckoned it’d be a great calling card if people started finding dead monsters around with 8 balls smashed into the head.

I tossed it as hard as I could and it was a direct hit!  It bounced with a crack off the back of Tiny's head and flew directly right at me. I only had to move slightly to catch it on the rebound which saved my pride... slightly... a little.

Jones monkey flipped the stunned samurai into the wall.  Tiny slid down and landed in a heap. Jones kept up, but I timed it and aimed it perfectly.  It would have hit him right between the eyes, but unfortunately he grabbed the eight ball out of the air before could collide with his huge masked head, and without a moment's hesitation tossed it back at me. Struck me right between the eyes. It ricocheted off my huge dome with enough force that I thought it snapped my neck. I heard it land somewhere that seemed 1,000,000 miles away. Needless to say, I wasn't super jacked about this 8 ball idea anymore.

I had barely collapsed to one knee when my attacker went for a kick that would've drove my head  a 1000 yards and through the uprights, if the Goliath with 1/2 a spear in his chest hadn't grabbed me by the collar and pulled me out of the way.

The masked man's momentum caused a full out Charlie Brown.  He flipped completely backwards and landed on his face. He was up fast, but it wasn't Lucy waiting for him when he did - it was one of the angriest, meanest killers on earth.

Magloofabits went to return the favor with the kick that would've knocked a man's torso from his waist. With the casualness that made the whole thing look more like dancing, Jones ran away to the right and kicked Ethan's prone leg out from under him. The momentum sent him flying back first into Tiny who was doing his best to get to his feet.

Before I could do anything about it, I was lifted up gut wrench style into power bomb position. He spun and I thought I was about to fall victim to the world's most deadly running "lygar bomb," and in reality, I probably would've preferred it. He took a few steps and launched me into the air. I landed without much harm on my buddies, but my 230 pound frame probably didn't do them any favors.

I suspected we looked more like the Three Stooges than trained killers trying to get to our feet and get our breath. For a second I was starting to believe this was our partner - he was strong, fast, and a hell of a fighter. But that all vanished when I got my composure.

When he tossed me, he launched himself into the air. And upon my release, fell flat on his front hands out like he was doing a push-up, or at least that's how he was when we got to our feet. He sat and stared at us like a snake.

"That ain't him," I spit out with my blood.

"Nope," said Tiny.

"Nobody cares I have a fucking spear in my chest?" snapped Ethan.

"So where's the real deal?"  I said over my tongue, which was moving across my chipped tooth in an effort to survey the damage.

"Hope he ain't dead," said Ethan, in an uncharacteristic show of any emotion that was not rage. His faced changed from nightmare to sad clown.  "Tiny, he better hope the real him's not dead," as Tiny pulled the spear out of Ethan's chest and handed it to him.

"This is better than the other clones. A lot better," I said, still trying to shake the cobwebs.

"Yea.  Why did you hit me with a cue ball?" Tiny asked.

"It was an 8 ball," I answered.

"Sorry, I couldn't tell on impact," he responded plainly.

"It's ok - good on you for knowing what hit ya by feel."  I was legitimately impressed.

"Thanks, buddy," he said.

"Welcome," I said, not taking my eyes off of what ever wore my friend’s appearance.

We all charged it, and though we were in it's space in a couple of strides, it rolled up to it's feet to greet us. It rolled through us, landing strategically placed blows on all of us as it pirouetted through and around us. All of us ended on opposite sides of the room from where we started. Team us was much worse for ware.

Then, without warning, the thing charged.  It was the only mistake it made so far; it wouldn't get the chance to make another. As if we planned it, we created our kill zone. Ethan ran straight at him at top speed; they would've met up and semi-crashed head-on, unless me and Tiny got there first.

We looped around on either side of fake Round Trip Jones - me stopping a step behind, and Tiny a step ahead. We snapped shut like a trap!

I swept his legs at the same instant Tiny went airborne and connected with a brutal spin kick. The wrestling world called the maneuver "Total Elimination;" most people hit with it weren't conscious enough to call it much of anything.

Ethan has been in place in case the it somehow dodges our play, but it turned out to be an unnecessary precaution. It landed on the back of its neck with a velocity that looked like he was dropped on the floor and folded up like an accordion then flipped over. It ended up sitting upright on his ass. Tiny leapt over him, getting behind him, and delivered a couple of stiff kicks to the spine for good measure,then proceeded to go for the thing’s mask.

Wasn't sure why, I certainly never asked. Neither one of us had ever seen Jones without his mask on. I suspect it was more of a symbolic act of humiliation. Either way, I'm glad he did.

The thing had no face. No features at all. My nerd brain competed with my survival instinct and tried to remember what twilight zone episode thing lack of faced reminded me. Luckily, the survival instinct won out. Between eyes was a timer. It's cliché, but like all clichés, 100% true. Time slowed to a crawl.

0:05

"Fuck me," said Ethan diving for it.

0:04

Tiny backed away.  He wasn't sure why, but he knew he should.

0:03

Ethan grabbed the thing by the ankles. "Weird," I thought.

0:02

Was I messing it up with "Eye of the Beholder?”







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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A revlation and a nightmare

Inside the Silio on Golding's pig farm 3:01Am

 It happened so fast: the sound of the couch smashing at the bottom of the 20 foot drop barely didn't even register but it did. It looked like it folded in half on impact, like a jobber taking a Misawa suplex.  Round Trip Jones, who was anything but a jobber, managed to land on his feet unharmed as he stood looking back up at me. Standing next to him was Ethan Magloofabits, who had jumped in after his buddy without even looking. Dumb? Crazy? Reckless? I prefer loyal! Fearless! Bad ass! But  if pressed I reckon I would not argue the validity of  the first three so much.

In a baffling display of energy conservation empathy, RTJ switched off the flat screen tv that was mounted on the back wall of the silo. Which obviously triggered the trap door to collapse. The entire floor dropped and in an instant the couch, the end tables, the lamp, the rug, and the luchadore were all gone.

I ran to where the makeshift living room now was. Ethan ran past me and was over the side before I could even consider telling him not to.  When I arrived at the perfect rectangle hole in the floor, my teammates were fine.

Wimpy clones.
Dumb traps.
Taking a vacation from terrorizing us.
Other than the dragon and the soldiers, it would seem our antagonist was more concerned with irritating us then actually hurting us.

That said my body has been out of whack ever since this thing started. The big brains I work with told me I was clear of the poison, but I've been getting worse and worse, further away from my optimum abilities every day since I woke up from my Alchemy induced slumber.

Or maybe 200 + (+ a lot) years of booze, drugs, and misadventures had caught up to me. I aged in increments pretty much every 60 years or so.  I looked 18 until the last change - then boom. Old. Grey hair. Shit metabolism. Old. My body took a step away from me, but skills, knowledge, and repetition made it easy to compensate.

I had maybe one more change, though legend has it some noble endeavor would keep me from slipping into elderly territory, but I haven't found it yet. Most folk get to rely on biology and hard science to help them chart the cause and effect Russian roulette that's their life span.  Good living + modern medical advancements - outside stimuli (things like out of control trucks or Falling safes) = a long healthy life. Me? Every thing I know about me came from an old guy in a cave. Finding out what I really was didn't help much; in fact it made shit more confusing. FUCK MY LIFE.

Not having a very good grasp on your own mortality or in my case quasi Immortality made stuff like this ten times more scary. I had no clue what was wrong with me or if I was getting better. But I suspected I may find some ANSWERS here, in what would appear to be the home of the person who was responsible for me getting poisoned in the first place. It was probably just another trap, but I was ok with that. If they had super cleverly planted the evidence that led us here, then we will get through.  I will dissect it and get one step closer. Every lil jab they make is another opening, and I'm famous for taking a punch to give a punch.

"You can't run forever, fucker," I said out loud.

"Dynamo," said two voices at once. I was closer to the hole so I walked over to where my comrades were still stuck.

"Yes?"

"Cerdo," said RTJ.

"What about em?" Holy crap, he was right! Where were the pigs??

When the pig farm closed ten or so years ago, the old man "just dispersed”. His kid owned the land, but no one could find him, so some genius town official just decided the best thing to do was to let the pigs free. But they didn't go any place. They just kinda overran the east side of the property. It was one of those classic small town fuck ups that contributes to the local idiosyncrasy that make these small towns awesome.

College kids would go there to steal pigs. Grade school bullies would threaten to drop kids off to be eaten by the pigs.  There is even a legend that the horney pigs would rape anyone unlucky enough end up in their territory. Ok... I started that legend, but it's really gaining steam! It was retold to me recently by a drunk kid who swore the pigs had mutated into pig men!

The problem is Tiny and I went right by the farm. No pigs. Before I could clue Tiny in, he motioned me over.

"Tiny, there's no pigs."

"Did you eat them all?" he said, not looking at me.

"Shut it."

"There can be only one," he said, with a grandiose flourish of his arms.

"Shut.  It."

"Look at this," Tiny said, crossing his arms.

Above the desk was a series of show posters. I recognized some of the bands and most of the clubs they were all in. Necronomicon, but the scene had definitely moved on without me.

One band was on it over and over again.

"Jason Vagmer and the Black Dragons."

Judging by the bands I did recognize, I'd guess he was in a similar genre to us - some sorta electronic band.

"Someone likes this Black Dragons band," I said, totally the transition to a pig revelation.

"Likes them or..." Tiny answered

"Orrrr likes them a lot?" I knew I was wrong but took a swing at it anyway.

"Orrrrrrrr" Tiny said, almost before I could finish my stupid answer.

"Orrrr they ARE THEM!! Holy Shit! I owe you, you were right!!!" I yelped.

"You owe me a coke!” Tiny said.

The attacks had started just before the show and stopped right after. Tiny had brought it up in one of the multiple war room meetings we had, but something about rock shows and vendettas didn't add up.

"But..." Tiny interrupted me, before I could ask why someone would go to all this trouble making clones to stop a Deadites show. His out stretched hand pointed to a flyer in the middle. The poster had a guy who at first glance I would have mistaken for Dave Navarro, but he was chubby and looked to have had one too many broken noses.  He was wrapped in a black cloak that was a bit too big.  The text under the band read:
"A Phantasmagorical Super Kick Right Through the Heart of Dance Culture"

"Well, that's looks a bit familiar," I chuckled.

Tiny was still pointing - he placed his finger on the the poster, and moved it down.

Down past the band name.
Down past the chubby Navarro.
Down past the plagiarism.
Down past club I had never heard of.
Down to a date:
"May 2nd"

Fuck, he was running opposite us.

Before I could protest out loud, the absurdity of a super villain local synth pop artist spending science fiction amounts of money to make science fiction to take us down so we would not be competition playing the same night as his show, a sound erupted from the trap door. Bad sounds. 





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Monday, July 6, 2015

Trick Or Treat Radio 153 GUNS OF BABBLE-ON

Trick Or Treat Radio 153 GUNS OF BABBLE-ON
Description: This week on Episode 153 of Trick or Treat Radio, we bypass the trappings of traditional segments to hang out with our buddy, “The Ledge.” We talk comics, books and Marz sneaks in his thoughts on Jurassic World. We do however get it together just in time to review the exploitation throwback from director Kurando Mitsutake, Gun Woman! It is also the triumphant return of our original second segment, The Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnight Cinema’s Flick Pick of the Month, as we review the 1980s flick, Babylon! Warning: it drives us into some pretty political places! So roll your sound system in, cut a Pez dispenser out of your body and strap on! 
Topics discussed: Marz's Jamaican connection, Tarantino, Grand Theft Auto 3, new Twitter followers, combating writers block, auto-erotic asphyxiation, The Dead Pit’s IMDB synopsis, how long the GGTMC FPoTM has been absent, The Dresden Files, Scientist, I Spit on Your Grave, what homosexual tribe Dynamo and Ravenshadow would belong to, Jurassic World, advances in medical science, DJ filmmaking, how different media has made things, 80's action heroes, Andy Lundgren FIB Posts, Amity album, Dubstep, Dynamos near death experience, Poop drawers, Public Image Limited, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, troop support, Inside, the film Grindhouse, the See/Hear podcast, when it's appropriate to shit your pants, Babylon, Black Widow, Alice in Wonderland weddings in Maine, Alex de Campi, the positive effects of our president, The Chocolate Beast, Quicksilver’s new symbol, Imdb hacks, the flume situation, sound system, Crimewave, Manchester music scene, MonsterZero's favorite stuff, Babblefish, Spider-Women, Grindhouse revival, Asami, Canada Day, post Secret War Marvel, disciplining your child, Amblin movie tropes, Spider Gwen, Blue Ruin, summer movies making money, Dynamo and Wolfenstein on Talk Without Rhythm, the hot tub, La Femme Nikita, Thriller: A Cruel Picture, Jagr, Dukes of Hazzard, James Bond books, carports, racism is universal, Green Hornet books, 8 Mile, Pinky Violence, Takashi Miike, the confederate flag, mailing yourself, golfing, and Lucio Fulci.
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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Some love from The T&G

Check out this great article about This Saturdays Rockstravaganza at the lucky dog music hall Then come see it for Realz! 

Here is all the Info!

 dynoMyra, Trick or Treat Radio and Haunting TV present the Free Comic Book Day After Party you've been waiting for! There will be comics, costumes and candy! Do not miss the spring nightmare party of the year!
Advanced tickets can be purchased here: http://freecomicbookparty.bpt.me/


Headlining the event is your favorite candy eating, monster hunting, keyboard slinging freaks, The Deadites! 

We are Honored to Share The Stage With:

Telelectrix (Electronic synth dance rock goodness) 

The Agents Of Chaos (Futurecore Hip Hopera Electronic music created by Beaver McD and Captain Insidious) and 

Introducing the enigmatic Nocturnal Creatures

The event will be hosted by Myra of The Evil Streaks and Jeanette of Haunting TV!

Nerd Trivia Contest!
Comic book Character Costume contest!!!
Haunting TV will be filming A Deadites video!!!!!!


The Lucky Dog Music Hall
89 Green St. Worcester, MA
21+
Doors @8pm
starts @9pm
$8 at the door!
$6 if you come in Costume
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010



The Great and Devious UltraMantis Black has a very important message for The Deadites. CHIKARA's own resident rudo now has the Monster Hunting, Electro-Shock band in his sights. A showdown between the two entities is all but inevitable.

With the malevolent UltraMantis Black breathing down the necks of The Deadites, this could very well be their final Halloween Extravaganza. We recommend you make a point to show up at the Lucky Dog Music Hall in Worcester, MA on October 30, 2010

The Tradition Continues!!!! The worlds best electro-shock band brings you a night of Drinking dancing and sexy people (and oh yea tons of candy !)

*Costume contest
*Best door prize ever ! Win a 16gb Ipad!!!!

Featuring the Music of:
*The Deadites
*Vostok4
*Todd Deal
*Plus more to come

21+
$10 at the door
www.thedeadites.com
Category:
Entertainment
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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Deadites 14Th Annual Halloween extravaganza

Time

Saturday, October 30 at 9:00pm - October 31 at 2:00am

Location

The Lucky Dog
89 Green Street
Worcester, MA


The Tradition Continues !!!! The worlds best electro-shock band brings you a night of Drinking dancing and sexy people (and oh yea tons of candy !)

costume contest with a great prize

Best door prize ever ! Win a 16gb Ipad !!!!


Watch this spot for more info every day !!!!!!

21+

10.00 at the door

www.thedeadites.com

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=100463480020113&ref=ts
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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Transmissions from Mars guide to fall events calendar and a formal Halloween announcement



We Here AT transmissions from Mars know you like to do stuff so here is a list of stuff to do for the late summer and fall.

Vampires Suck August 18

Piranha 3-D August 20

Centurion, The Last Exorcism August 27

Machete 3 September 2010

The Birthday Massacre THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 9, the Palladium in Worcester

Ring of honor Plymouth, MA- September 10th

stART on the Street Festival Sunday September 19 Worcester Mass.

They might be Giants September 24 Lupos heartbreak Hotel Providence Rhode Island

Buried September 24



They might be Giants Sep 25: Mohican son casino Uncasville CT - FREE 5th annual audience


Night of the Demons September ???

Let Me In, The Social Network October 1

7th Annual Rock And Shock OCTOBER 15, 16 & 17 - THE DCU CENTER & THE PALLADIUM IN WORCESTER, MA ( Rob zombie Alice Cooper, Gwar, DANNY TREJO,GEORGE ROMERO, ADAM GREEN,)





Jackass 3D , Red October 15

Gary Numan Friday October 22 Boston, MA Paradise

Paranormal Activity 2 October 22


"Chikara Rendezvous at Big Gulch" Sunday, October 24th Hamden, CT

Dragon Gate USA "Bushido: Code of the Warrior" October 29th Fall River, MA




The Howling: Reborn Monsters My Soul to Take Saw 3D October 29th

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND oct 30th The deadites one billionth annual Halloween extravaganza watch this spot for more info but I will say this could be a very interesting deadites line up this year

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