Thursday, March 25, 2010

loads of good stuff on my BLIP.fm station


Flight of the concords
Tori amos
The knife
The postal service taking on phil collins
Rob zombie
david bowie
depece mode
johnny cash
new Alkaline trio + your block head of the day (AT doing some fly covors) + your alkaline trio of the day
weird al
lenord cohen and loads more

Friday, March 19, 2010

the guy from stow throws his mighty shield



I have read in a few places that marvel has offer the role of captain America to Chris Evens.
i think thats great. he has the look of a young steve Rogers . I really hope he takes it

he is also In 2 up coming flicks I am really exited for

the losers which is based on the amazing vertigo spy comic

and the new Edgar Wright adaption of Bryan lee O'malleys Indie comic hit 'scott Pilgrim vs the world

this could be the year a local kid becomes the coolest cat in tinsel town

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

House of the Devil

House of the Devil is a good movie.

It’s a great movie in fact.

What’s so great about it?

When I was young there was a video store up the street from where Tiny lived named “Leicester Video” (It was in Leicester, ya see). On summer days or after school we would spend hours sitting in front of the giant TV in Tiny's basement (which I am still sure is one of the biggest TVs ever made), mesmerized by everything the L –video Horror section had to offer:

Waxwork
Sub Species
Near Dark
Freaks
Toxic Avenger
Dawn of the Dead
The Hills have Eyes
The Crazies
Evil Dead
Night of the Scarecrows
Return of the Living Dead

And so many more titles whose names are lost in my hazy Mountain Dew-drenched memories (due in no little part to the fact that so many of those VHS’s had 500 hundred different names and alternate releases).

Vestron…. Lighting Video…. Full Moon… Troma…. Like indie kids with recorded labels, these were our bibles; our harbingers of trash quality.

This little trip down memory lane is relevant for one reason.
You see….
As I was watching House of the Devil, I felt like I was re-watching one of those flicks.
I remembered taking the BIG BOX off the bottom shelf where the old forgotten gems lived. I clearly remembered walking down the winding parking lot of Larue’s grocery, staring at the black box with the P-Touched title, wondering if this weird looking movie was worth our 2 bucks - let alone 2 hours of our precious fall time. Wording what sort of forbidden gore - or better still, boobs – lie waiting, as Tiny inventoried our candy and soda purchase on the walk home.
I have clear visions of bad jokes and horrible puns we made during the film’s slow first 25 minutes.
I was left with a distinct memory of the uncomfortable laughter and awkward few minutes that filled the basement after all bloody hell broke lose.
And the following minute, when we would all start to slowly migrate toward the safeness of the couch as the eerie 70’s score and 80’s style cinematography caught us in it’s spooky web.
I remember it all…
except that it never happened.

TI West’s House of the Devil IS a perfect recreation of that experience. The set up is staggeringly simple:
Broke college wallflower Samantha (Jocelin Donahue) takes a babysitting job during a full lunar eclipse and ends up with way more than she bargains for, as her bizarre employers try to make her the centerpiece in there anti-Christ summoning ritual.
Tom Noonan will make your skin crawl off you body with his creepy spot-on performance; his “Tom” is awkward and pitiful, but powerful and frightening all at the same time.
Mary Wodrove makes you feel, well… just plain wrong. She looks like Cruella de Vil just crawled out of the grave after a losing battle with radiation poisoning. You fear her and hate her from the first second she hits she screen.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, Aj Bowing’s “Victor” is so mild-mannered you are not even afraid of him when he appears out of nowhere in a graveyard in the middle of the woods, until it’s to late. Then you are very afraid of his every sneaky movement.
Donahue’s Samantha makes every mistake and every boneheaded move that every dumb kid in every one of these flicks has ever made. She is completely unbelievable and complete perfect in this role.

This is not homage like Grind House or Devil’s Rejects.
It’s the real deal. Every note, every frame, is an 80’s VHS big box memory that never happened. Triggering false recollections of a better day - faded SP prints and gaudily painted box artwork.
I cannot recommend this nasty little flick enough. If you’re like me, it’s a road trip to a mom and pop video store that doesn’t exist anymore - but we so wish it did.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

TAKE a trip to KNIGHTSIDE





Simon R. green's NIGHTSIDE books are awesome.

John Taylor is not a private detective per se, but he has a knack for finding lost things. That's why he's been hired to descend into the Nightside, an otherworldly realm in the center of London where it is 3-am all the time and nightmares and myths vie for your money and your soul.

these are quick reads that use the "no rules" rules of their environment to hit you with dozens of great ideas per chapter.

D&D fantasy meets super hero action and shoot em up Western
splatter punk horror meets mike hammer PI fun
zombies vampires and ghosts enjoy a play put on by an insane immortal with a show tune fetish
evil wizards super villains and demons do battle with angles form heaven and hell over the "unholy grail'
a haunted cafe' wear it's 1969 all for ever
Nazis,boy band enforcers , giant pulp cat robots, SO many awesome ideas in one book blaenced and presented so logically you really believe NIGHTSIDE . you become entrenched in it's geography and not in the mishmash of crazy people.
basically Taylor jumps into another book with different characters every page but he never levees nightside.


READ THESE BOOKS you will not regret it

I am mad. so be warned . this is a crazy rant ( complete with a blow by blow and 2 hate letters)

What has a great cast? An awesome premise? 2 of the most beautiful women ever put on film? And fell on its face in every way possible?

"The crew"
Written and directed by Carl Colpaert (G.I. Jesus, The Affair) this mess is perhaps one of the biggest wastes of potential I have ever seen.

A shambling calamity of a film, It's slow boring and had no grasp of it's own tone (are you trying to be funny? is this supposed to be tense? because it's is nether)


The cast, which was top lined by Viggo Mortensen (all sorts of awesome stuff), Donald Logue (blade, randy of the red woods) and Jeremy Sisto (may, dead and breakfast) spent its running time looking confused and not really sure what was happing.
the only thing scary about it was how little the real flick it had to do with the synopsis that tricked me into "renting" the dam mess

"On a weekend cruise, vacationers rescue 2 people from a burring boat. But the rescued turn the boat ride into a living hell"

Living hell? They definitely inconvenienced them some, but living hell!

The IMDB is a bit closer but still vague

"Reluctantly Bill agrees to spend a weekend on his brother-in-law's boat in the Bahamas. But he and his wife are not the only invited passengers, and instead of a few relaxing days at sea Bill experiences something that shakes his whole existence"

Bill (randy of the red woods) did have a bad day. But his life was really just a jumble of unfinished out ideas and lame dialog responses there was not allot to shake up...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE NOW PRESENT AN EXCERP OF AMAZING DIALOG


Bills wife; are you going to be A dick all weekend?

Bill; are you?

Here is my blow-by-blow run down of THE CREW!!!!!! If it makes any sense to you god bless you

A) A lawyer named. Aragon takes his friends on a boat ride.

. Aragorn’s pals

a) Randy of the red woods and his hot wife
b) A whore
c) A guy who looks like vanilla ice

They drive (sail?) around and waste a bunch of running time mostly to drive home that vanilla ice and randy wife have a thing on the side. And that randy had some sort of break down

Vanilla ice plays an out of key mash up of 2 tom petty songs and a rolling stones song and says he is selling it to a metal band
He also tell us his Pen name is "Jeremy zero"

The whore and Randy’s cheating wife look very hot in their bathing suits (I am in love with them)

Randy sees a burring boat. They fight about weather or not to rescue the passengers. Get a gun put it away then lose it.

After a very low key rescue we meet the boygirl and a Latin immigration cliché’ (She plays mariachi guitar and dose Latino sexy daces and listens to a learn English on tape cassette on her Walkman “ are you going to the park? “ “ The mall is nice? “)

Boygirl asks for help but Aragon say NO WAY! So Boygirl pulls out a huge 9 and takes them hostage

After some debate and arguing Aragorn’s ship gets get boarded by the local authorities. The fuzz find $100 Bill in the engine room.
Aragorn makes up some lame ass shit but the cop is not buying it.
It looks as though he is going to have to bribe the cop to go away. But... instead (no drama here folks) he just levees. Perhaps he gets side tracked by the 2 pages of pretentious 8th grade creative writing class 'America is greedy" dialog he has to force him self threw and forgets about his nautical law enforcement duties, but any way.

“The crew” sunbath while boygirl calls his boy friend on Aragon's $200.00 A minute (!?!?!) satellite phone (time to shop around your phone service stryder). This is a very leisurely hostage situation.

During the sun bath party the cliché' plays the opening theme from desperado on vanilla ice AX the dirty old rapper gropes Randy wife's bum in front of every one (randy is to busy trying to figure out what this movie is about to notice)

Boygirl drives the boat to an island and levees every one their wile he anchors 30 ft off shore and waits for his ride

Randy accuses his wife of cheating on him with vanilla ice. Then he swims off to join boygirls team

The action star and very healthy looking white rapper look alike finally manage to over power the 90 pound boygirl and get the gun away from him, but after allot of swimming bickering and running around in circles team boygirl end up back on the boat with the lost gun (it was lost. or hid o... ahhhhh who really cares)
Some how. Aragorn’s arm gets broke

Randy finds that Aragorn has a million bucks hidden in the boat meanwhile boygirl calls his boy friend and it goes poorly

A lot of stuff happens fast now. Aragorn vandalizes his boat so no one can use it. We find out the whore is a whore (I really thought we knew. I knew) boygirl tries to kill him self but randy stops him. They both break down

After a nervous break down and some cuddling randy and boygirl are in love. Aragorn finds them like that and shoots and kills boygirl.

Some how. For no reason at all (why start making sense now) all Aragorn’s unexplained plot point money is floating off the boat (this makes him sad)

The Latin cliché and randy take a raft to the other side of the island throw boygirls body overboard. They sit in a cool old broken down battle ship

The end

What happens to every one?
Do they get home?
Will the cliché ever learn English?
Did randy of the red woods ever really think he was going to win the 92 presidential election?
I could care less really

But how did this boring drama-free drama get on fearnet? FN Is an amazing on demand horror station and I have never regretted any thing Iv watched on it , until now any way.

was this the programing equivalent of a video store clerk putting a movie in the wrong section?

"it looked like horror . the box art was scary"

Do the good folks At fearnet not watch this stuff first ?
I feel I need to be compensated for there mistake.


Dear fearnet

I rented one of your free films. And though it was free I could have been doing 1000 of other things to better my life both monetarily and spiritually have done the math and figured out what my 130 am till 315 am time slot is worth
Please send me 10. Bucks and we will be even

Thanks

Dynamo


Dear Mr. Colpaert

If you can not make 90 minuets of Jennifer Pierce and Catherine Driftwood in a bating suit compelling it's time to hang it up

Thank you

dynamo

Monday, March 15, 2010

trying out my links

my links do not work

Radio mars

check out my blipfm station

all kinds of cool stuff today

The killers covering bright eyes
some new FOZZY
The broken bells
shiny toy guys
the cars
dedsy
men without hats
killing joke
fever rey
the knife
cell dweller
Alkaline trio
elliot smith
Tori amos

and other good stuff for your ears

Green-wilder


here is Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern aka Hal jordan Aka Hannibal king AKA the 2nd of 2 guys and a pizza place AKA "the winner of the worst adaption of a comic charter ever is Ryan Reynolds as wade wilson dead pool as sorta MIMIC"

I think the costume looks great . and i think Reynolds looks like a super hero. I'm exited.

BTW i found this Image on the GRIZZLY GAZETTE the news page of my favorite POD-CAST the grizzly bear egg cafe'.
Hosted by pro wrestler Mike Quackenbush and Fox and Friends-Fox News hostClayton Morris the GBCE is a weekly 1 hour chat encompassing all that is nerdy and awesome in the world at large . check it out (my links are not working right now but you can click on the title of the post )

why D-rock is my hero



it is a great felling to be a fan of some one you love in real life.
i got a peek at these freak show posters and they are awesome
I hope i am not speaking out of class by posting a link but it is on his blog so i am guessing it is up for public consumption

http://derekring.blogspot.com/


(click on post title)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

was this review helpful ? or why the Internet needs content editor

I was looking for admission information for the ELM draft house. I found this this !!!! it may be the most white trash reviews of some thing I have ever seen.
it defiantly is one of the best examples of the internets ability to empower complete jack asses I have ever come across

"The best part about this place (the elm) is that they serve beer on tap (that alone garners 5 twinklers). This works out great if you have a girlfriend that makes you go to all those pantywaist movies. Just get fuckin hammered, entertain yourself, and make her drive home.

Don't like the movie the owner is showing? BOO HOO. Quit crying and pull your panties back up. Don't be a cheap bastard, and shell out the five bucks anyways! Then you can grab a pitcher of sudz and get freaky in the dark (or do whatever you crazy New Englanders do in the dark). Cause all movies are funny when your drunk.

The owner is a cool dude, except that he likes the Gaytriots and Red Sux. He's always showing the games, so you bandwagon New England fans can catch them at the Elm. And, if you tickle his fancy, he'll even tell you about some cool history on that old ass building.

So...

Don't be a pussy. Go to the Elm and get hammered while you watch Precious. Trust me, that movie is a riot after a couple of pitchers."

I am at a loss.
is this the best thing or the worst thing I have ever read?
I surely don't want to be a pussy.
i hope I like the place.
If i see A different flick Am I just automatically A pussy ?
Is this really the type of endorsement The elm wants?

A bit scary. a bit up lifting . brace your self.





http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1268336045424RA49

(or click tittle )

Saturday, March 13, 2010

an early Im explanations (and my first change)

SILICAisin50bnds74 : blog is a contraction they used to be called Web Log 


DMrjkface :  ahhhhh


DMjrkface: so why not wlog 


 SILICAisin50bnds74 : ha


SILICAisin50bnds74 : beats me


DMjrkface : hmmm


DMjrkface : I like E-log better


DMjrkface : E-log sounds like cyber poop. I am going to call "blogs" E-logs from this point on


DMjrkface : do you think it will catch on


(1 min of Im inactivity) 


DMjrkface : so i will give you 50 percent credit from reshaping the cyber vernacular. we should gat a trade mark on that asap


 SILICAisin50bnds74 :  HAHAH


DMjrkface : we will be trilloinairs


SILICAisin50bnds74 :  cant wait


DMjrkface : fine but when i am knee deep in thresomes and $ 500 bills lets see who is not seroius then



SILICAisin50bnds74 : should be great


DMjrkface :  I will use my money to go back in time and peter Gabriel will wright "big time" about me


SILICAisin50bnds74  : hahahah.


SILICAisin50bnds74  : gotta run


SILICAisin50bnds74  : see you latter on


DMjrkface :  gotta run to steal my idea


SILICAisin50bnds74  : i am going to the internet to tell them about it


DMjrkface : too late i changed the name of that to the "world wide Bitch ass whiney sell stuff porn finder" my power knows no bounds 




welcome to transmissions from mars. 
this is my blog. (I have 0 idea what blog means)
this will be where run my mouth about allot of stuff.  so if generally  you like my ramblings you will be right at home here . Ifffffff you think I am A loud mouth jerk.... well i promise I will do nothing to change your mind.

so sit back enjoy.

by the way I think I am dying