Outside the crypt on the hanger side 3:59 am
Underneath the Dragons neck like the healing barrel of a St Barnard hung Round Trip jones.
She couldn't tell if she was alive or aliveish.
If she rammed it with the van she was obviously risking The life... Lifeish of RTJ.
The Behemoth rose. Smoke bellowed from its nostrils. It's had back. She slammed the car into reverse but all senses sight smell hearing were replaced by the sensation of overwhelming heat.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Pig pile
The pig farm 3:25 AM
I was up and fighting before I even Realized it. I was Using scourge as a club and my other smaller colt more traditionally. Even with both hands laying some serous harm on pig mutants I was still just barley keeping my head above water. One falter or when I ran outta bullets i'd be sunk.
Tiny was slicing ham like it was easter dinner. His elegance and skill made killing look more like art. Ethan's technique on the other hand was anything but beautiful in fact it was down right hard to watch. Tearing fleshing pink chunks off any mutant unlucky enough to get in arms reach.
He was covered in blood.
Something was in teeth.
He was happy.
A was tearing up pig mutants like a clown shaped chainsaw... It .. Was ... It was gross.
I heard what I thought was a roar then In the distance I saw fire rise over the trees as if a inferno erupted from thin air. The ground shook the fire looked as if it would scorch the sky. It looked like it was right near my house right near the hanger.
Donna? Fuck
I can't think about it. I swung Scourge cracking a pig mutants skull.
But my mind was somewhere else with giant monsters a mountain of flame and someone I loved dearly.
I was up and fighting before I even Realized it. I was Using scourge as a club and my other smaller colt more traditionally. Even with both hands laying some serous harm on pig mutants I was still just barley keeping my head above water. One falter or when I ran outta bullets i'd be sunk.
Tiny was slicing ham like it was easter dinner. His elegance and skill made killing look more like art. Ethan's technique on the other hand was anything but beautiful in fact it was down right hard to watch. Tearing fleshing pink chunks off any mutant unlucky enough to get in arms reach.
He was covered in blood.
Something was in teeth.
He was happy.
A was tearing up pig mutants like a clown shaped chainsaw... It .. Was ... It was gross.
I heard what I thought was a roar then In the distance I saw fire rise over the trees as if a inferno erupted from thin air. The ground shook the fire looked as if it would scorch the sky. It looked like it was right near my house right near the hanger.
Donna? Fuck
I can't think about it. I swung Scourge cracking a pig mutants skull.
But my mind was somewhere else with giant monsters a mountain of flame and someone I loved dearly.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Face off
Just outside the cript hanger side 3:25
Matrix was going to ram the van Down the giant allegedly mythical beast's throat. It had landed in the road ahead of her and let out a threatening earth shaking growl in her direction. She said she wasn't impressed. I BELIVE her but I'd have been shitting my pants.
Clicking the high beams temporally blinded the chubby goth that road on top of the nightmare. He squirmed in his ornamental saddle and partially blocked his eyes with his forearm.
It was as big as a plane.
It lifted it's head and roared at the sky and that's when she saw him adhered to the monsters neck with chains.
She said was furious but I suspect there was some worry too.
As if the fucking flying fire breathing behemoth wasn't enough. This bitter little prick was playing dirty.
She had to respect that.
Matrix was going to ram the van Down the giant allegedly mythical beast's throat. It had landed in the road ahead of her and let out a threatening earth shaking growl in her direction. She said she wasn't impressed. I BELIVE her but I'd have been shitting my pants.
Clicking the high beams temporally blinded the chubby goth that road on top of the nightmare. He squirmed in his ornamental saddle and partially blocked his eyes with his forearm.
It was as big as a plane.
It lifted it's head and roared at the sky and that's when she saw him adhered to the monsters neck with chains.
She said was furious but I suspect there was some worry too.
As if the fucking flying fire breathing behemoth wasn't enough. This bitter little prick was playing dirty.
She had to respect that.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Hell comes to pig Town
Godlings pig farm 3:25 Am
We heard them move before we saw them.
It sounded like a 2nd explosion or a earthquake.
They moved in Unsion like a greasy muddy machine.
Ethan saw them first. It took every muscle I had to turn to to the tree line to see them.
They were big.
Not tall big. Thick.
Like body builder waring another body builders skin.
They had huge ripped legs that went down 2 hooves that wile probable 8 inches around looked to small to support their massive frames.
There arms were big veiny pieces of meat with hands the size of my head.
And of course Pig heads
Giant evil looking pig heads. They looked like fake demonic Halloween masks, but real. Very real.
The frat boy hadn't been bull shifting embellishing on my made up killer pig story he really saw pig people.
They came up from the woods fast but slowed to a deliberate march.
"Great" Ethan said pointing across the st
They were coming from behind the farm house and across the street into the filed. We were surrounded.
"cerdo" whispered Tiny
"Credo" I repeated.
We heard them move before we saw them.
It sounded like a 2nd explosion or a earthquake.
They moved in Unsion like a greasy muddy machine.
Ethan saw them first. It took every muscle I had to turn to to the tree line to see them.
They were big.
Not tall big. Thick.
Like body builder waring another body builders skin.
They had huge ripped legs that went down 2 hooves that wile probable 8 inches around looked to small to support their massive frames.
There arms were big veiny pieces of meat with hands the size of my head.
And of course Pig heads
Giant evil looking pig heads. They looked like fake demonic Halloween masks, but real. Very real.
The frat boy hadn't been bull shifting embellishing on my made up killer pig story he really saw pig people.
They came up from the woods fast but slowed to a deliberate march.
"Great" Ethan said pointing across the st
They were coming from behind the farm house and across the street into the filed. We were surrounded.
"cerdo" whispered Tiny
"Credo" I repeated.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Donna in Action
Andy Christ hadn't returned yet. Oracle was on medical leave. She had been up and about, but Donna wasn't about to force her out of bed this early, at least till she knew how bad it was.
The explosion was close by. And while not necessarily Godlings pig farm, the fact that she could not rise confirmed that we had either caused the explosion or were in it.
I can imagine her navigating the the dark winding halls in the crypt like a jungle cat - beautiful, graceful. Deadly. She would stop for a 1/2 second by her tiny souped up Prius then moving in to one of the extra vans realizing you couldn't fit Magloffabits in a Prius.
She would tear out of the hanger like a bat outta hell not waiting for hydraulics, only getting even with street-level. The cars undercarriage would scrape against the pavement and spark violently. She would instantly turn in the direction of the of the burning pig farm debris while embers would float menacingly against the night sky.
She'd probably try to raise us on one more time but stop when she noticed a shadow suddenly blocking out the moon light. Its huge form sweeping down at the car. She would most definitely accelerate to get out of its range, but bang a brutal 360 to face it head on; her warrior brain and her scholar brain drowning out the small internal cries for self preservation.
She would look it in the eyes when it completed the loop to change direction and charged from the sky towards her little car.
And I'm positive she didn't flinch or falter.
I never got to ask what she said when she stepped on the gas to accelerate forward, but I'm sure it was something to the cue of "let's go."
The explosion was close by. And while not necessarily Godlings pig farm, the fact that she could not rise confirmed that we had either caused the explosion or were in it.
I can imagine her navigating the the dark winding halls in the crypt like a jungle cat - beautiful, graceful. Deadly. She would stop for a 1/2 second by her tiny souped up Prius then moving in to one of the extra vans realizing you couldn't fit Magloffabits in a Prius.
She would tear out of the hanger like a bat outta hell not waiting for hydraulics, only getting even with street-level. The cars undercarriage would scrape against the pavement and spark violently. She would instantly turn in the direction of the of the burning pig farm debris while embers would float menacingly against the night sky.
She'd probably try to raise us on one more time but stop when she noticed a shadow suddenly blocking out the moon light. Its huge form sweeping down at the car. She would most definitely accelerate to get out of its range, but bang a brutal 360 to face it head on; her warrior brain and her scholar brain drowning out the small internal cries for self preservation.
She would look it in the eyes when it completed the loop to change direction and charged from the sky towards her little car.
And I'm positive she didn't flinch or falter.
I never got to ask what she said when she stepped on the gas to accelerate forward, but I'm sure it was something to the cue of "let's go."
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Stars and bruises
Ground zero were the silo used to be on goslings pig farm
I thought about the month of may. It had sucked. Every inch of me hurt, hell even the bottom of my feet hurt. When do you think of the bottom of your feet.
When you step on a nail?
Barefoot on hot pavement?
Bad shoes?
But I was uber conscious I had bottoms of my feet and they hurt like hell.
We all sat there quiet peaceful.
The smoke and dust had cleared you could see the stars. They were beautiful.
We never did find our what happened to the pigs. They were here recently there poop led us here.
"Dynamo" tiny said his tone as tranquil as I felt
"Yea buddy"
"Why did you hit me in the head with a 8 ball"?
The ground began vibrate. Hooves the ground it sounded like a stampede I was too hurt to turn in look.
"Anyone looking that way" asked tiny
"I am" said Ethan
"Should we be worried" tiny almost laughed. The kinda laugh a movie death row inmate makes before they pull the Electric chair lever down.
"Kinda" Said Ethan.
This is the Second time in as many hours as I heard him sound confused. Lunatics to Houston multiple angry Asian demons in their body ... well.. it took a lot to confuse that sort person.
"Pigs" I said
"Kinda said Ethan.
I thought about the month of may. It had sucked. Every inch of me hurt, hell even the bottom of my feet hurt. When do you think of the bottom of your feet.
When you step on a nail?
Barefoot on hot pavement?
Bad shoes?
But I was uber conscious I had bottoms of my feet and they hurt like hell.
We all sat there quiet peaceful.
The smoke and dust had cleared you could see the stars. They were beautiful.
We never did find our what happened to the pigs. They were here recently there poop led us here.
"Dynamo" tiny said his tone as tranquil as I felt
"Yea buddy"
"Why did you hit me in the head with a 8 ball"?
The ground began vibrate. Hooves the ground it sounded like a stampede I was too hurt to turn in look.
"Anyone looking that way" asked tiny
"I am" said Ethan
"Should we be worried" tiny almost laughed. The kinda laugh a movie death row inmate makes before they pull the Electric chair lever down.
"Kinda" Said Ethan.
This is the Second time in as many hours as I heard him sound confused. Lunatics to Houston multiple angry Asian demons in their body ... well.. it took a lot to confuse that sort person.
"Pigs" I said
"Kinda said Ethan.
Getting hit By The Fan Club
The crypt around 3Am
Donna had found the string in the sweater and she was pulling, and pulling.
It's funny how with a small bit of knowledge and the right circumstances we can put something together that wasn't there before. Our attackers had managed to elude us up until now. Normal police work or investigation would've never found them, but thanks to some science-fiction level science, shee tracked down a very solid lead like the world's most beautiful wolf. Mz. Matrix wasn't about to let go until she drew blood and tore meat.
She searched and hacked and searched, than hacked some more.
After the initial lead, it took us less than 10 minutes to mobilize; she already had a good intle by then.
When old man Golding died, he left his son all he had: his pig farm, and all the pigs on it.
According to public record, his son Robert never turned up to get it. In fact, hadn't turned up anywhere at all. At least not under that name, and while chubby little Bobby Golding was gone - and has been for 10 or 11 years - a gentleman by the name of Jason Vagmer was very active. Vagmer was a synth pop/industrial artist who played in and around Necronomicon. By all accounts his music was pretty OK, if not a bit pedestrian, but his stage show featuring Chris Angel-like illusionist antics was spectacular. Despite rave reviews, it would seem he hasn't generated quite the fanbase he was hoping for. And in one interview Matrix found, it seemed like he was considering throwing in the towel:
"It would seem that the city does not appreciate real art or real artists. My stage show is state-of-the-art science and illusion. My songs are roadmap of human desires and emotions. But no one cares."
Ahhhh, the good old “no one cares”. It's a goth staple. Well, I still use it. The good thing about being part of the black lipstick and eyeliner set is that you can whine all you want and then casually pass it off as gimmick despite the fact you're really legit upset and really whiny.
Another thing I see a lot are people who will put five or six months into building a fanbase and then, when they're not filling up clubs, throw their arms in the air and blame the city. They don't understand the only reason that we have a fanbase in the city at all is that we were distracted and unmotivated enough to stay here way past our welcome.
Shortly after, Matrix had come up with Bobby's old MySpace page, which was full of him at our shows and wearing Deadites paraphernalia. Lots and lots of photos; lots and lots of paraphernalia. It's clear we were probably a pretty big influence on his artistic endeavors.
A quick look at a school record showed he was a fucking super genius.
High school by 10
College by 16
By the time he hit 20, he was apprenticing under some of the greatest minds and science. This kid was fucking smart. Scary fucking smart.
Later on in another interview, she hit pay dirt.
"It would seem like the people in the city have outgrown their childhood heroes, yet perhaps the city isn't big enough for both of us."
I call that a out and out threat.
If he was talking about us, anyway. And he was. Matrix read and read, pulled hard at this sweater, until there was nothing left but a pile of yarn.
It would seem at some point, fanaticism turned to resentment, resentment to jealousy, jealousy toward the hatred,which turned to a full on science-filled fucking vendetta.
Around that point, she was scanning through the flyer gallery on the band page of "Jason Vagmer and the Black Dragons." When she saw a flyer for the May show, she was going to call us, but stopped short on account of the explosion.
Follow The Deadites' exploits:
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
Monday, July 13, 2015
Alive(ish)
Ground zero: were the Silio used to be on Golding's pig farm 3:22AM
I couldn't hear.
I couldn't see.
The dust and debris were not only blinding me, but making it impossible to breathe. The impact had thrown me against the wall.
The fall in the field.
The battle with the fake Round Trip Jones.
The explosion.
I wasn't getting up anytime soon. Every inch of me hurt. I felt old 20 minutes ago, and now I felt ancient. I felt like I was on the wrong side of dead. But for better or for worse I was alive.
I even managed to grab the thing by the ankles and with future strength worthy of a summer blockbuster, I tossed it out of the hole into the other end of the silo.
Someone grabbed my knee and then someone grabbed my shoulder. Standard protocol when senses are impaired is to establish physical contact.
2 hands + my lump body = we were all alive.
The good news was we weren't going to be ripped apart to pieces or crushed under debris.
The bad news was the bad guy was still on the loose and we had no idea where the real Round Trip Jones was or if he was even alive.
After what seemed like forever but not nearly enough time, we all struggled back to our feet. A few minutes more we were struggling to climb out of the trap door in what used to be the silo.
The explosion had blown the the roof and the walls completely to pieces. The construct we had previously been in was gone - as if it had never existed. The area a few yards outside of where the silo was looked more like a meteor impact than a pig farm.
This answered the question we were all thinking but nobody had said.
"How the fuck had we survived that?"
I wasn’t looking to get lucky, but not only did I toss the exploding clone outside of the trap door but outside of the silo entirely.
"Good shot," Tiny coughed.
"Fuck yeah!" barked Ethan, which somehow actually did sound like “thank you.”
We walked through the blast zone, into the tall grass, and almost like we planned it, we all collapsed.
The dust had settled so I could see the stars. I thought I could hear sirens in the distance. I also heard something that sounded like a whine and some other explosions but my ears and head were ringing too much to decipher what that could possibly mean.
We all laid there. Discouraged, disappointed. It hurt to breathe as if for the first time in my life, a mile away from where I live, I was going to stay forever.
Follow The Deadites' exploits:
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
Gun Woman!!!
Check out Kurando Mitsutake's excelent Gun Woman!!!!!! If ya Like Real sleezy 70's and 80's exploitation you will ove Gun Woman!!!!!
Gun Woman [Blu-ray]
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Under The Covers
"Enjoy The Covers: A Tribute To Depeche Mode" is brought to you by Synth Records, Trick Or Treat Radio, andIheartsynths.com
Enjoy The Covers is an unabashed love offering laid at the alter of the Greatest Electronic Band of all time and presented to them by the bands they influenced!
Formed in 1980, the songs of Gahan, Gore, Fletcher, and company have been influencing synth slingers and electrophiles from day one.
Please enjoy this collective of artist as they apply their own styles to tracks that run the gamut of this legendary act's catalog, from More contemporary tracks like "Corrupt" to hits like "Never Let Me Down Again" and every dark corner in between.
Enjoy The Covers is an unabashed love offering laid at the alter of the Greatest Electronic Band of all time and presented to them by the bands they influenced!
Formed in 1980, the songs of Gahan, Gore, Fletcher, and company have been influencing synth slingers and electrophiles from day one.
Please enjoy this collective of artist as they apply their own styles to tracks that run the gamut of this legendary act's catalog, from More contemporary tracks like "Corrupt" to hits like "Never Let Me Down Again" and every dark corner in between.
And oh The best part is……. Its FREEEEEE!!!!
Round trip Jones Throw Down
Inside the Silio on Golding's pig farm 3:12AM
With a roar, Ethan grabbed the spear with two hands and lunged forward, pushing RTJ across the length of the rectangular metal box they ended up in when the trapdoor opened. The masked wrestler started to push back to drive the spear deeper into the angry slashers chest, but like lightning, Tiny was in the hole and cut the spear clean in half. Jones swung the end he still had like a bat, but Tiny parried it easily with the flat part of the sword, then drove his mask into the bridge of what we thought was our friend’s nose. I instantly keyed on the Swordsmen's body language; if this was Round Trip Jones then there wasn't much any of us or our conventional weapons could do to hurt him. If this was a clone? Well, in that case it was no holds barred anyway. Instinctually I went for Scourge, but shooting into combat is never great idea, and with the way my body's been it was a terrible idea, but I had just the thing for a situation like this! I went to my jacket pulled out a nice round,black, shiny eight ball I've been saving for just the right moment. I reckoned it’d be a great calling card if people started finding dead monsters around with 8 balls smashed into the head.
I tossed it as hard as I could and it was a direct hit! It bounced with a crack off the back of Tiny's head and flew directly right at me. I only had to move slightly to catch it on the rebound which saved my pride... slightly... a little.
Jones monkey flipped the stunned samurai into the wall. Tiny slid down and landed in a heap. Jones kept up, but I timed it and aimed it perfectly. It would have hit him right between the eyes, but unfortunately he grabbed the eight ball out of the air before could collide with his huge masked head, and without a moment's hesitation tossed it back at me. Struck me right between the eyes. It ricocheted off my huge dome with enough force that I thought it snapped my neck. I heard it land somewhere that seemed 1,000,000 miles away. Needless to say, I wasn't super jacked about this 8 ball idea anymore.
I had barely collapsed to one knee when my attacker went for a kick that would've drove my head a 1000 yards and through the uprights, if the Goliath with 1/2 a spear in his chest hadn't grabbed me by the collar and pulled me out of the way.
The masked man's momentum caused a full out Charlie Brown. He flipped completely backwards and landed on his face. He was up fast, but it wasn't Lucy waiting for him when he did - it was one of the angriest, meanest killers on earth.
Magloofabits went to return the favor with the kick that would've knocked a man's torso from his waist. With the casualness that made the whole thing look more like dancing, Jones ran away to the right and kicked Ethan's prone leg out from under him. The momentum sent him flying back first into Tiny who was doing his best to get to his feet.
Before I could do anything about it, I was lifted up gut wrench style into power bomb position. He spun and I thought I was about to fall victim to the world's most deadly running "lygar bomb," and in reality, I probably would've preferred it. He took a few steps and launched me into the air. I landed without much harm on my buddies, but my 230 pound frame probably didn't do them any favors.
I suspected we looked more like the Three Stooges than trained killers trying to get to our feet and get our breath. For a second I was starting to believe this was our partner - he was strong, fast, and a hell of a fighter. But that all vanished when I got my composure.
When he tossed me, he launched himself into the air. And upon my release, fell flat on his front hands out like he was doing a push-up, or at least that's how he was when we got to our feet. He sat and stared at us like a snake.
"That ain't him," I spit out with my blood.
"Nope," said Tiny.
"Nobody cares I have a fucking spear in my chest?" snapped Ethan.
"So where's the real deal?" I said over my tongue, which was moving across my chipped tooth in an effort to survey the damage.
"Hope he ain't dead," said Ethan, in an uncharacteristic show of any emotion that was not rage. His faced changed from nightmare to sad clown. "Tiny, he better hope the real him's not dead," as Tiny pulled the spear out of Ethan's chest and handed it to him.
"This is better than the other clones. A lot better," I said, still trying to shake the cobwebs.
"Yea. Why did you hit me with a cue ball?" Tiny asked.
"It was an 8 ball," I answered.
"Sorry, I couldn't tell on impact," he responded plainly.
"It's ok - good on you for knowing what hit ya by feel." I was legitimately impressed.
"Thanks, buddy," he said.
"Welcome," I said, not taking my eyes off of what ever wore my friend’s appearance.
We all charged it, and though we were in it's space in a couple of strides, it rolled up to it's feet to greet us. It rolled through us, landing strategically placed blows on all of us as it pirouetted through and around us. All of us ended on opposite sides of the room from where we started. Team us was much worse for ware.
Then, without warning, the thing charged. It was the only mistake it made so far; it wouldn't get the chance to make another. As if we planned it, we created our kill zone. Ethan ran straight at him at top speed; they would've met up and semi-crashed head-on, unless me and Tiny got there first.
We looped around on either side of fake Round Trip Jones - me stopping a step behind, and Tiny a step ahead. We snapped shut like a trap!
I swept his legs at the same instant Tiny went airborne and connected with a brutal spin kick. The wrestling world called the maneuver "Total Elimination;" most people hit with it weren't conscious enough to call it much of anything.
Ethan has been in place in case the it somehow dodges our play, but it turned out to be an unnecessary precaution. It landed on the back of its neck with a velocity that looked like he was dropped on the floor and folded up like an accordion then flipped over. It ended up sitting upright on his ass. Tiny leapt over him, getting behind him, and delivered a couple of stiff kicks to the spine for good measure,then proceeded to go for the thing’s mask.
Wasn't sure why, I certainly never asked. Neither one of us had ever seen Jones without his mask on. I suspect it was more of a symbolic act of humiliation. Either way, I'm glad he did.
The thing had no face. No features at all. My nerd brain competed with my survival instinct and tried to remember what twilight zone episode thing lack of faced reminded me. Luckily, the survival instinct won out. Between eyes was a timer. It's cliché, but like all clichés, 100% true. Time slowed to a crawl.
0:05
"Fuck me," said Ethan diving for it.
0:04
Tiny backed away. He wasn't sure why, but he knew he should.
0:03
Ethan grabbed the thing by the ankles. "Weird," I thought.
0:02
Was I messing it up with "Eye of the Beholder?”
With a roar, Ethan grabbed the spear with two hands and lunged forward, pushing RTJ across the length of the rectangular metal box they ended up in when the trapdoor opened. The masked wrestler started to push back to drive the spear deeper into the angry slashers chest, but like lightning, Tiny was in the hole and cut the spear clean in half. Jones swung the end he still had like a bat, but Tiny parried it easily with the flat part of the sword, then drove his mask into the bridge of what we thought was our friend’s nose. I instantly keyed on the Swordsmen's body language; if this was Round Trip Jones then there wasn't much any of us or our conventional weapons could do to hurt him. If this was a clone? Well, in that case it was no holds barred anyway. Instinctually I went for Scourge, but shooting into combat is never great idea, and with the way my body's been it was a terrible idea, but I had just the thing for a situation like this! I went to my jacket pulled out a nice round,black, shiny eight ball I've been saving for just the right moment. I reckoned it’d be a great calling card if people started finding dead monsters around with 8 balls smashed into the head.
I tossed it as hard as I could and it was a direct hit! It bounced with a crack off the back of Tiny's head and flew directly right at me. I only had to move slightly to catch it on the rebound which saved my pride... slightly... a little.
Jones monkey flipped the stunned samurai into the wall. Tiny slid down and landed in a heap. Jones kept up, but I timed it and aimed it perfectly. It would have hit him right between the eyes, but unfortunately he grabbed the eight ball out of the air before could collide with his huge masked head, and without a moment's hesitation tossed it back at me. Struck me right between the eyes. It ricocheted off my huge dome with enough force that I thought it snapped my neck. I heard it land somewhere that seemed 1,000,000 miles away. Needless to say, I wasn't super jacked about this 8 ball idea anymore.
I had barely collapsed to one knee when my attacker went for a kick that would've drove my head a 1000 yards and through the uprights, if the Goliath with 1/2 a spear in his chest hadn't grabbed me by the collar and pulled me out of the way.
The masked man's momentum caused a full out Charlie Brown. He flipped completely backwards and landed on his face. He was up fast, but it wasn't Lucy waiting for him when he did - it was one of the angriest, meanest killers on earth.
Magloofabits went to return the favor with the kick that would've knocked a man's torso from his waist. With the casualness that made the whole thing look more like dancing, Jones ran away to the right and kicked Ethan's prone leg out from under him. The momentum sent him flying back first into Tiny who was doing his best to get to his feet.
Before I could do anything about it, I was lifted up gut wrench style into power bomb position. He spun and I thought I was about to fall victim to the world's most deadly running "lygar bomb," and in reality, I probably would've preferred it. He took a few steps and launched me into the air. I landed without much harm on my buddies, but my 230 pound frame probably didn't do them any favors.
I suspected we looked more like the Three Stooges than trained killers trying to get to our feet and get our breath. For a second I was starting to believe this was our partner - he was strong, fast, and a hell of a fighter. But that all vanished when I got my composure.
When he tossed me, he launched himself into the air. And upon my release, fell flat on his front hands out like he was doing a push-up, or at least that's how he was when we got to our feet. He sat and stared at us like a snake.
"That ain't him," I spit out with my blood.
"Nope," said Tiny.
"Nobody cares I have a fucking spear in my chest?" snapped Ethan.
"So where's the real deal?" I said over my tongue, which was moving across my chipped tooth in an effort to survey the damage.
"Hope he ain't dead," said Ethan, in an uncharacteristic show of any emotion that was not rage. His faced changed from nightmare to sad clown. "Tiny, he better hope the real him's not dead," as Tiny pulled the spear out of Ethan's chest and handed it to him.
"This is better than the other clones. A lot better," I said, still trying to shake the cobwebs.
"Yea. Why did you hit me with a cue ball?" Tiny asked.
"It was an 8 ball," I answered.
"Sorry, I couldn't tell on impact," he responded plainly.
"It's ok - good on you for knowing what hit ya by feel." I was legitimately impressed.
"Thanks, buddy," he said.
"Welcome," I said, not taking my eyes off of what ever wore my friend’s appearance.
We all charged it, and though we were in it's space in a couple of strides, it rolled up to it's feet to greet us. It rolled through us, landing strategically placed blows on all of us as it pirouetted through and around us. All of us ended on opposite sides of the room from where we started. Team us was much worse for ware.
Then, without warning, the thing charged. It was the only mistake it made so far; it wouldn't get the chance to make another. As if we planned it, we created our kill zone. Ethan ran straight at him at top speed; they would've met up and semi-crashed head-on, unless me and Tiny got there first.
We looped around on either side of fake Round Trip Jones - me stopping a step behind, and Tiny a step ahead. We snapped shut like a trap!
I swept his legs at the same instant Tiny went airborne and connected with a brutal spin kick. The wrestling world called the maneuver "Total Elimination;" most people hit with it weren't conscious enough to call it much of anything.
Ethan has been in place in case the it somehow dodges our play, but it turned out to be an unnecessary precaution. It landed on the back of its neck with a velocity that looked like he was dropped on the floor and folded up like an accordion then flipped over. It ended up sitting upright on his ass. Tiny leapt over him, getting behind him, and delivered a couple of stiff kicks to the spine for good measure,then proceeded to go for the thing’s mask.
Wasn't sure why, I certainly never asked. Neither one of us had ever seen Jones without his mask on. I suspect it was more of a symbolic act of humiliation. Either way, I'm glad he did.
The thing had no face. No features at all. My nerd brain competed with my survival instinct and tried to remember what twilight zone episode thing lack of faced reminded me. Luckily, the survival instinct won out. Between eyes was a timer. It's cliché, but like all clichés, 100% true. Time slowed to a crawl.
0:05
"Fuck me," said Ethan diving for it.
0:04
Tiny backed away. He wasn't sure why, but he knew he should.
0:03
Ethan grabbed the thing by the ankles. "Weird," I thought.
0:02
Was I messing it up with "Eye of the Beholder?”
Follow The Deadites' exploits:
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Trap door Madness
Inside the Silio on Golding's pig farm 3:10pm.
Tiny and I rushed to the opening of the trapdoor, immediately looking down. Nothing in the world would have shocked and confused me more, even if the Cat in the Hat was wrestling a bunch of midgets in a giant tub of pudding at the bottom.
I wish it were that, that would have put a smile on my face. What I actually saw, did anything but.
Round trip Jones had somehow come up with a long spear, around 6 feet long, and must've had some sort of sharp end. I, unfortunately, couldn't see the end, opposite the undead Lucha sensation, because it was buried in the chest of Ethan.
"What The Fuuuuck Dude!", bitched Ethan
I trick myself into thinking this night couldn't get any weirder and that this whole ordeal couldn't get any more terrible. I was pretty fucking wrong.
Thank ya Kindly world now fuck off
Tiny and I rushed to the opening of the trapdoor, immediately looking down. Nothing in the world would have shocked and confused me more, even if the Cat in the Hat was wrestling a bunch of midgets in a giant tub of pudding at the bottom.
I wish it were that, that would have put a smile on my face. What I actually saw, did anything but.
Round trip Jones had somehow come up with a long spear, around 6 feet long, and must've had some sort of sharp end. I, unfortunately, couldn't see the end, opposite the undead Lucha sensation, because it was buried in the chest of Ethan.
"What The Fuuuuck Dude!", bitched Ethan
I trick myself into thinking this night couldn't get any weirder and that this whole ordeal couldn't get any more terrible. I was pretty fucking wrong.
Thank ya Kindly world now fuck off
Follow The Deadites' exploits:
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
http://TheDeadites.com
http://twitter.com/TheDeadites
http://facebook.com/TheDeadites
http://youtube.com/TheDeaditesTV
http://instagram.com/TheDeadites
http://thedeadites.bandcamp.com
Listen to The Deadites' weekly audio podcast, Trick or Treat Radio:
http://trickortreatradio.com
iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tr...
Stitcher Radio
http://stitcher.com/s/profile.php?fid...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
