Transmissions from Mars: FCBD BRawl part 2

The back room of rubber Chiken had been transformed into the The principals office. Jay; The generally friendly and welcoming Owner of this fine comic vending facility looked as if he was ready to kill me.

Despite the fact eddy attacked ME I was sitting in the bully chair and not much was going to get me out of it.

A few years ago Some other

A few years ago some other group of crimefighters had shut down in a legal genetics lab. They were making designers assassins personally grooming them with state-of-the-art mad scientist stuff from the one to first kill. At that point they got busted they were they had the skill stuff right but not the killer instinct.
They also were entirely lacking in assimilating social skills.

In a weirdly liberal move by the local Necronomicon government, they offered to subsidize the adoption and care of any of these ... Hmmm let's say mentally incapable assassins. It was really a perfect fit because not only did they need care they also could double as security and protection for people who needed it.

Eddie's mom named and I'm not fucking kidding named Edna was a hair shy of legally blind and had terrible gout in her right knee. I know this because she told me over and over and over again. The other point she drove home was despite his physical appearance and ability to as she put it "take care of himself" Eddie had the mind of a nine-year-old.

The first couple times I tried to remind my newly formed hate committee that most nine-year-olds can't take me in a fair fight but my pleas fell on deaf ears and I gave up.

Rubber chicken gave the family a gift certificate with a ludicrous amount of zeros next to a three, a gift certificate that yours truly was going to be responsible for purchasing.

Beyond the life life changingly huge gift certificate I was also on the line for a couple of basement steps a box of vibe issue number ones (which jay was nice enough to give me at market value but mean enough to make me take with me) and a cracked Gandolf replica staff.

As I left I reached over the table to shake Eddies hand. He turned his head away his face contorted to a mask of disgust.

"Babman"

Which I'd since come to understand was Bad man and not Batman. The portly caped crusader wasn't telling me who he was he was telling me I was a bad man. Despite the dis I continued on my plan of peacemaking more accurately groveling.

"Well I hope you can forgive me for roughing you up a little Eddie (for me roughing him up? even I was disgusted by my own bullshit) but I think it's a mighty fine thing you did there thinking I was a robber going down there to Steal all theses fine Vibe comics. I really appreciate you protecting my favorite comic shop" at that I turned my most sympathetic peepers To Jay who obviously had no sympathy. Beaten up customers was obviously bad enough but beaten up special needs customers was apparently "number one no no" in the Rubber Chiken bylaws.

"You misunderstand" hissed Edna!

"My darling Eddie
Exactly knew exactly who you are"

I didn't think this day could get any more miserable.

"And that's exactly why he assumed you were up to no good. "

"Huh" was the best I could do.

"He is a big fan of your band" said Edna

"Donna is Coolz oracle is cool" added Eddie.

I may have said "huh" again.

"So naturally..." Edna leaned on naturally so hard it sounded more like "you left a bear trap in my puppies dog house"

"..... He wanted to check out your Internet radio program"

Oh no.

I could think about 9 billion things a mom would find inappropriate about trick-or-treat radio, and heck had only took me into consideration both monsterzero and Michael Raveshadow made that list about two galaxies long just by either one of them opening their mug.

"Initially bad language was a little giant but it didn't seem to bother little Eddie and it made him happy"

I was back to "huh"

"But then one day he came home upset almost crying apparently you and yours were so mean to monsters hero that you made him leave for a while " she almost spat the absurd statement onto the desk this lady hated me she hated me a lot that I understood but that last part the part about US being TOO mean to the meanest most offensive human alive? My rational human brain couldn't decipher that part.

"Bab Man"

For second dynamo in me as MichaelRaven shadow calls it almost Rose to the surface.

Getting beat up by 300 pound nine-year-old was one thing. Getting beat up by a monsterzero fan was just about more than I could take.

Wise and Patient Jay must've seen my body language change and gave me a stern look.
I thought about the best thing to say but go F yourself is all that kept coming to mind. Luckily" J managed to do all the talking for me. I known Jay for years he was the manager part owner of the best comic book store around. I found him to always be intelligent funny and like I stated before wise beyond his years. The first part of what he said? that part I got but what is the next sheer lunacy.

Give me a played out like this

"Blah blah blah sorry. Blah blah blah very sorry blah blah blah our sincerest apologies blah blah blah dynamo is going to give you a free tour of the crypt with the special meet and greet with monster zero.

"I beg your pardon" I said before I could stop myself.

without missing a beat Jay started to repeat what he said but I stopped him right quick.

"I understood all the words you said buddy but in that order didn't really make any sense"

Again he repeated himself.

Eddie looked at me half excited half. Furious

"I mean I have to get authorization for that sort of thing"

Eddie's bottom lip started to quiver.

"Well that's that then while you were shoveling poop I was on the phone with Jack Ketchum and he thinks it's a great idea"

Of course he did.

After was all sorted out in the Ed contingent left. Me and Jay bullshitted about comics for a while. I explain to them why was on edge (not that I would've done anything so different anytime anyone had ambushed me and kick me in the chest) but I guess it didn't matter. Luckily this would stay out of the papers. "Deadiets frontman beats up genetically altered nine-year-old" would probably her are already busted replication.

On top of the attacks. On top of the pending show which seemed to like it's going to be a financial disaster. I had to tell Monsterzero he actually had a fan. On the flipside I had purchased a legend scale Batman the animated series creeper so while it wasn't so bad this would not go down as the best free comic day.

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